Every parent struggles to juggle household responsibilities from
time-to-time. Often, the lure of a long holiday or at least have a whole
day away from the children springs to mind. Although it might help in
lessening the stress, it doesn’t completely solve the issue at hand. The
best way is to know how to deal with burnout.
Although you need to take a real break, there is no need to escape it
entirely by going away. The answer is breaking the old habits that led
you to this situation. Here are some bad parental habits you might be
doing now that you need to stop in order to stay sane:
Negative self-talk
Are you too hard on yourself? Do you have a tendency to compare yourself
to other parents who aren’t doing as good as a job as yourself? Try to
refrain from being negative. When children hear negativity on a regular
basis, they start saying and thinking the same about themselves, as they
look up to you more than anyone in the world. The Huffington Post suggest parents should never project their insecurities onto their children, as it could lead to further problems in
the future for your children, i.e. low self-esteem. Consider
appreciating the small things you do, and learn to reward yourself for
doing a great job – things like getting a massage or going on a personal
shopping are the perfect kinds of rewards after a tiring day. You’ll be
surprised at the kind of respect your children have for you when they
get older if you always project a positive mindset.
Freaking out!
With plenty of things to think about plus a screaming child to attend
to, most parents end up freaking out, thinking it’s the most logical
response, and viewing their lives as a 24/7 crisis. Some just roll their
eyes followed with a deep sigh, while others can’t help but burst into
tears. In some situations, going ballistic or having a meltdown is a
normal reaction. However, psychiatrist Scott Haltzman, M.D said,
sweating about all the small things that you can’t control and that
don’t matter in the long run affects how children react to life’s ups
and downs.
The best way is to avoid the drama and look at the situation in a calmer
way. It helps to play a few games in your spare time, as playing video games is said to decrease aggression, trigger positive
behavior, and enhance problem-solving skills. In fact, some games are
now made specifically for parents by redefining their usual chores such
as Shopping Spree inspired by moms’ who go on routine shopping trips and
even using some popular family movies as themes, such as the famous dinosaur-themed Jurassic Park, as featured on Spin Genie’s online and mobile gaming platform. Take note that
your reaction to situations will be essential in the development of your
children, so stay calm and never freak out.
Practicing strict parenting
Research revealed that most parents think strict parenting produces
well-behaved children, but it appears that an authoritarian approach to
raising a child actually lowers self-esteem in children who behave worse
than other children. In a report by Aha! Parenting, a strict parenting approach results in behavioral problems in children for different reasons:
• It deprives them of the opportunity to internalize self-discipline and responsibility
• It limits empathy and teaches children to be bullies
• They have more tendencies toward anger and depression
• They tend to be more rebellious
• It undermines the parent-child relationship
The best parenting is said to be the “Empathic Limits,” approach where
parents set limits and convey it to their children, as the latter
thrives on limits and age-appropriate expectations only if they are
applied with the required empathy.
"Behaviors like overreacting have a boomerang effect: What we throw out
to our kids will come right back at us," said Parents advisor Michele
Borba, Ed.D. The key is to clean up your act by setting a good example
for your children. Start with the ones listed above and you’re on your
way to a new and improved family life.
